"Intuition is the very force or activity of the soul in its experience through whatever has been the experience of the soul itself."
A few years back, whilst learning about developing intuition, I came across various techniques to do so. Whilst there are many different ways, one I particularly enjoyed because it was very easy to complete without needing to dive deeper in the subject. But before I reveal this to you in more depth, I’d like to briefly explore the meaning of intuition. You don’t necessarily need to be a spiritual person in order to use your intuition. It is part of all of us and although it cannot be seen, it can be felt in a powerful way. Remember that gut feel you get when you’re about to make an important decision? Or the uneasiness you sometimes get when you met somebody and you just can’t explain what it is? What about one of those times when an idea comes to you randomly and you just somehow know it will be a winner? These are all manifestations of your internal energetic source and your intuition. Therefore, I look at intuition as exactly that. It is part of your true source, your true soul’s essence. And like with everything, the more you explore ways in developing it, the stronger and more effective it will manifest itself for you. Most successful people I have worked with told me that they listened to their gut or intuition when they had to make a very important business decision. And most of the time, the result was 100% successful. Your intuition is so powerful and it guides you towards the path you should be on. Sometimes we want to seek answers and believe that these will unfold themselves to us from an external source, but what I have learnt over the years is that those answers are already within you; that by listening to that voice from inside, you will know what you need to do and sometimes you will even figure out the why.
More often than not we tend to rationalize everything. We have been taught that by following facts, the truth about specific situations will be revealed. But sometimes, some situations simply require more than just a rational reasoning. Some things cannot be explained, they just are and it’s up to you to believe. The truth will always be one’s unique perception of how they see reality, and so your truth will always reside inside.
Amongst all the techniques I have discovered for developing and enhancing the intuitive field, this I found to be the most effective and extremely interesting. I was asked to write myself a letter. At the time I was 28 years old so I began the letter with Dear 28 year old Miriam. It was advised to start off with a few of the events in my life that I was most proud of sharing. So anything that I had accomplished that I wanted to share, was part of the introduction. Following this, I had to continue writing and try and go into as much detail as I could. After a while, the more I wrote, the less I was consciously focused on what I was writing. At one point I found myself guided by something from within when I dived into events from my future. It was such a strange feeling and although I was aware this was happening, I simply couldn’t stop. It’s as if a part of my self was telling me what to write and so I did. Some of the future events I had referred to were not even part of my present desires, but since this was no longer my conscious self writing, I just rolled with it. 35 minutes and 6 pages later, I ended the letter with yours truly, Miriam, put the pen down and took a moment.
For some reason I felt really excited and slightly exhausted. It’s as if I had discovered a whole new side of myself that I never really explored. Don’t get me wrong, it was still me but I felt more aligned and connected with my soul’s purpose. I was fascinated and immediately began reading this letter. I was confused about some of the things I wrote as they were not part of my goals and I didn’t think much of it at the time, so I closed my notebook and went on with my life. At the time I wrote this letter I was about to move to a different city in the UK because I thought that was supposed to be my next step. But the letter didn’t reflect this and it had me puzzled. I actually wrote about a place I would be living in that was not even close to the city I was about to move to. A year later, with no influence from this letter, I found myself moving to the place I mentioned in the letter. I had no idea how this happened, but it was one of the best decisions I had ever taken in my life.
For those of you who are reading this and doubt this could happen, I respect your view and accept it. Everybody has a unique definition of what their reality is and it’s important to go with what feels right. But your intuition is part of you and something that simply cannot be denied. Every few months, I look at this letter and sometimes I am once again taken by surprise to discover that something from it came to life.
As I mentioned throughout this article, intuition cannot be seen, touched or pointed at. It’s part of our energy and resides internally, at our core. Meditation will often enhance it by revealing you snippets of images or feelings that you were simply not aware of, but they are within you. I ‘m not asking you to believe my truth, I’m simply bringing to your awareness something that worked for me personally which I wanted to pass on. Intuition can be developed in many ways, but if you are keen to try the above technique, simply get out a pen and notebook and start writing.
I hope that whatever you try you will become more in tune with your intuition. Life is truly magnificent and when you are curious and seek more than just what you see, it gets even more fascinating.
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. "
"Good leaders make things happen, the best leaders empower others to do so."
As we grow through life, we realize that the lessons we learn are just as important as the milestones we acquire. In fact, without the lessons, the milestones will not even be there. From a very young age I was driven to one day reach great heights within my professional life. Growing up in a somewhat poor environment meant that I focused more on using my imagination, than just having material things. I didn’t necessarily have the trendy clothes or the latest Barbie doll as a kid, but I learnt very quickly that by using my mind, I can just visualize that I have everything I wanted and although I physically I didn’t have these things, metaphorically speaking I acted as if I did because my mind was in that state and I believed it. My parents couldn’t afford to buy me a real Barbie, so I had the plastic fake type but my mother taught me that if I want something I must find a way to make it happen. So her and my grandmother would sew the most beautiful clothes for my plastic Barbie dolls, and they were the best dressed on the block. My Barbies had Haute Couture designs and I was happy with that. My parents taught me to work very hard for everything I wanted in life because only then you can taste the success of your own input and discover just how talented you really are. I have to admit, in my younger years this wasn’t always fun, but now I can say I am very grateful for this type of wisdom I was given.
Everybody can reach professional success if they really want it bad enough. We sometimes tend to focus on things that actually don’t really matter which end up distracting us from what we should really be focusing on. I have learnt that by looking within and focusing on gaining an understanding of the self, who I am, what are my passions and strengths, all lead to the discovery of one’s life purpose. Regardless how self-driven and disciplined you are, there will be moments in your life when you will need the guidance of others. Whatever path you are choosing to take within your career, connecting with other likeminded people and learning from those who have already walked the path you are embarking on will place tremendous value for you.
One of the most valuable experiences I had and continue to have in my professional life has been working alongside great minds and inspirational leaders who somehow believed in me so much. I never really understood the concept of having a career mentor until I met my first one. I considered myself lucky to be part of this person’s business journey, a successful entrepreneur with a genius business mind and a very humble nature. He believed in me and in my abilities to succeed more than I did in myself at the time. It is then that I learned the importance of perseverance and being passionate about what you do. When you rely on yourself to be the driver of all your actions, that’s when you will begin to take control of your life. But it’s wise to learn from others, especially those who are living the success you want to be living. If you are blessed enough to have already found your career mentor, then you will understand the important role they played in your journey. And if you haven’t yet, here’s why you should start:
DISCOVER YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL
Self-development is vital for anybody. When you focus on growing and learning new things, you elevate to greater heights. Having a career mentor can sometimes open your mind to new talents and strengths you haven’t been aware you had. Although I always believed in myself that I would have a great career ahead of me, I never really took the big actions with confidence towards it until I met my first mentor. He saw more potential in me than I did in myself at the time and that helped me find my wings and use them wisely. It is then I was introduced to a whole new level of self-elevation I took upon myself. The lessons I had been introduced to from a young age were the planting seeds to new discoveries which I only understood later on in life, when I realized my true potential. You will meet people in life who somehow see more in you than you see for yourself. Perhaps they are older, wiser and more experienced and often times they will see their younger self within you; that driven soul who wants to do great things. The qualities you see in your mentors are simply qualities you yourself possess, hence why you are able to see them. So don’t be afraid to let somebody introduce you to these and be open to letting your potential shine.
GET A TASTE FOR SUCCESS
When you surround yourself with successful people who have achieved what you want to achieve, you will become that. The more you do it, the more you start living it because you will understand that your actions cause the outcome. Being around people who can teach you the lessons you might face in your life will give you the wisdom to understand and really embrace these. Success is really what we perceive it to be, so when you find somebody who is aligned with your definition of success and they are living it, allow yourself to be introduced to it. When you are able to get a taste for what it really is, you will realize that the true success lies in the hard work and countless challenges endured; the broken barriers, the sleepless nights, the never ending, burning passion with which you conquer these. Having this introduction first hand from somebody who has been there will absolutely prepare you for what’s to come and it is then when you will decide if this is the success you are seeking.
UNDERSTANDING THE IMPORTANCE OF FAILURE
Having a career mentor will give you tremendous insight into understanding and embracing failure. Almost every successful business owner or highflying career individual I have met and worked with had encountered failures, some more than others. Whilst there is no special manual for handling these moments in our lives, hearing somebody’s story who has pushed through the challenges can definitely have a positive impact on your professional development. You will learn that even the biggest, darkest challenges have a positive outcome. In fact, you will learn that these are often the ones that lead you to the desired results you are seeking to create. Nothing is really as glamorous as it seems, and when it does, you better believe that it takes many failures in order to achieve that status. Robert F Kennedy said that “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly”. This might sound daunting for some of you, as failure can have such a strong impact, but when we take the dark glasses of with which we see it and realize that we can always pick ourselves back up again, now that is true success.
If I can sum up everything I have learnt from all of my mentors so far, it is this:
"Good leaders make things happen, the best leaders empower others to do so."
When you meet somebody who empowers you to make great things happen, and you are willing to learn, you’re on your way to realizing that it is possible.
Self-limiting beliefs are exactly what they say they are: self-created beliefs that limit you from reaching greater things in your life. The important aspect to take in consideration is that almost everybody in this world will have them. I say almost because some have been brave enough to reach within and break the pattern of limitations they once created for themselves. Self-limiting beliefs are simply thoughts that become paradigms over time which influence the way you live. Whatever you experienced so far has lead you the point you are at now in your life. Your thoughts and feelings manifest themselves through your actions and what you believe to be true will ultimately prove to be so. Your self-limiting beliefs have been stopping you from achieving your true potential and you are probably not even aware you have them. Think about these as tales you create for yourself in your mind that deplete or impede your forward actions. This is because they are limiting of course, therefore we can say that self-limiting beliefs are a big influence to why you haven’t really lived to your greatness so far. Self-limiting beliefs are formed from your life experience, from the things you see, what you feel and what you hear about. Your perception of the world is highly influenced by both your internal state and the external factors that you encounter. The human brain has three main ways of receiving information, and this is done by generalizing it, deleting the information or distorting it. The way you perceive something to be is exactly how it will be for you. The human mind is the powerhouse behind all thoughts, imagination and creation from a cognitive point. The information you consciously feed your mind with will be taken exactly as it is and stored within your unconscious mind. This is the area of the mind that controls the body systems and all involuntary functions. It is also the part that stores the ego, that voice that constantly likes to keep you safe and in your comfort zone. Playing a pivotal role in the creation of self-limiting beliefs, the ego can be your greatest friend or your biggest enemy, depending how you choose to use it. Your ego takes everything personal and it believes everything you tell it. Your conscious mind is the driver and the unconscious is the doer, so everything you consciously tell yourself, your unconscious and the ego will take it on board and believe it. Regardless if this information is true or not, it doesn’t care nor can it tell the difference. If you tell yourself you are a millionaire, and begin to believe it, then your unconscious mind will start creating the systems towards it. And soon enough you will begin acting like one. At the same time, if you tell yourself you are poor and cannot be rich, then your unconscious mind will grasp this belief and guess what? It will take it as a fact, so you will become just that.
If I said to you that whatever it is you want for yourself in your life, you can have, would you believe me? Hopefully many of you will, but I do have a slight feeling that there will be quite a few skeptic minds out there.
Henry Ford once said that “If you think can do a thing or you think you can’t do a thing, you are right. He was one of those great people who was able to identify the power of self-belief and use it to reach his aspirations. The most critical person towards you that you will ever meet in your life is yourself. Your ego makes sure that you will do so in order to keep you safe. And whilst self-limiting beliefs can keep you “safe” and not let you get out of your comfort zone, you simply cannot grow further into a braver, stronger, more accomplished individual this way. Whatever has been stopping you this far to reach your aspirations and biggest dreams has been YOU due to your limiting beliefs.
Let’s explore the most common self-limiting beliefs and how to reverse these so you can start living to your uttermost potential.
I CAN'T DO THIS
Have you ever said this before? I know you have, I have too, so has everybody else. This is by far one of the most widely used self-limiting beliefs. When you say to yourself you can’t do something, what you are really doing is eliminating all possibility. You have created a belief about your situation and you are certain you simply cannot do whatever it is that you’d like to do. Then come the excuses including : I don’t have the money to start a business, I don’t have time for a relationship, I can’t go to university because I am too old, I can’t go travelling because I don’t have the money, I can’t run a marathon because I’m not fit enough, I can’t cook, I can’t do that presentation, I can’t get that job… I could keep going on, but I think you get the point. What you are doing here is limiting your opportunities because you are giving into fear. You see, it’s easy to say you can’t do something and then go back to living comfortably, without having to actually find a solution. You are infesting your brain with excuses to support your limiting belief and guess what? You believe it’s true! What you need to look at is breaking this pattern and turning the I can’t into it’s possible. It’s possible for me to start my own business and I will use all my resources to gain the financial stability it requires; It’s possible for me to run that marathon and I will train consistently in order to bring up my fitness levels; It’s possible for me to go back to university and study what I love and all I need to do is fill in that application form and create a plan. It’s possible! If you start telling yourself it’s possible and you identify the solution for it, you will no doubt create whatever it is that you are wanting to do. Remember, your unconscious has no idea what’s true and what’s not, it only knows what you tell it. So tell yourself it’s possible and start believing it.
I'M NOT WORTHY OF THIS
Have you ever wanted something so badly but deep down you always believed you were actually not worthy of it? Let’s just say you wanted to get into a relationship with a wonderful person who has achieved great things both personally and professionally, but you told yourself that this kind of person will never look at you that way because you are not good enough, that you don’t reach their standards. This is a limiting belief and a big one to be honest. When you don’t believe you are worthy of something, you are de-valuing yourself and with this, eliminating all your amazing qualities that actually make you just as worthy as anybody else. But if you don’t trust yourself and believe this is true, then you will end up living a life where you not worthy of doing the things you want to be doing. You are worth so much; your life is a gift and you were born with a purpose; your existence adds value to the world but you just need to start believing this. Look at your strengths, focus on all you have done so far that you are proud of and made you happy at some point. Spend time with yourself and start enjoying your own company to see just how valuable your presence really is. You can try meditation, which will help you become more self-aware. Look within, and not externally, because that is where the most attention needs to be paid. When you start looking internally and bring the light to the storm that’s been brewing in there, you will find that your worthiness will soon manifest itself, because it’s there you just have to find it, accept it and embrace it.
I DON'T DESERVE THIS
Take a moment and go back in time, as far as you can remember, to a moment when you were just a young kid with lots of dreams. Did you feel invincible? Did something stop you from believing you deserve to grow up and be who you want to be? Your answer is probably no because in your younger days, you hardly focused on self-limiting beliefs because all you knew is what you wanted. Your imagination is more powerful than you think and at that stage, all you are doing is actually using all your resources instead of crowding your mind with limitations because they simply don’t exist. Telling yourself you don’t deserve something is like waking up every morning and not getting out of bed the entire day. You are lying there, awake and living but are you really making use of your day? Are you using your resources, your body, your mind, your passion? Are you productive to the point that you realize what you are good at and what you deserve because you put the hard work in it? You need to start being kind to yourself and to the life you have been given. You need to learn to acknowledge your unique self and be just that! You deserve everything you want to create for yourself and more, but it is your choice to make this happen. Only when you start understanding what you deserve, then you will get it. Those who seek, receive and those who hide will eventually be found. So regardless what path you choose to take, at one point in your life, you will need to face yourself and realize what you deserve. Ask yourself what is stopping you from believing you deserve it? Start now, don’t waste any more time and energy into negative beliefs that have trapped you into an empty bubble of misery. Tell yourself, I deserve to live an abundant life; I deserve happiness and love; I deserve that pay rise; I deserve to have a family; When you decide this, you will start to feel it and believe it.
You don’t need a magic wand for you to know your life can be truly prosperous and abundant. What you do need is to start using your mind, imagination and passion towards the things you know will bring more beauty in your life. Remember your self-limiting beliefs are simply statements you create for yourself; they are not true! They are simply just sentences you make up to create excuses for what you are so afraid to reach out to.
People take life a bit too seriously sometimes, including myself. We tend to read too much into things and make a big deal out of everything. We worry about the most insignificant minute details, those that don't even matter really. And the biggest one is that we can often develop a pattern of negative thinking just by giving into failed expectations. Negative feelings and thoughts can be detrimental and even though we know this, we still let ourselves led by them. Negativity has such a powerful presence and the more we give into it, the more we sink ourselves into a bubble of misery. Happiness is more often than not developed through experiencing situations that bring us dissatisfaction, fear and uncomfortable surroundings. I truly believe that only by becoming familiar with the unwanted and that which we fear the most, we will identify what we truly want. If we could only start living with a problem solving winning attitude, and take less of a victim approach we would then realize how many amazing things we could really create in this lifetime.
15 REMINDERS ON HOW AMAZING LIFE TRULY IS
1. Realize that everyday you get to live is THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY of your life. You are not guaranteed tomorrow, but you sure have today. So start appreciating this and make the most of it.
2. Stop being so damn mean to yourself. Stop hating your body, stop thinking you are not good enough, stop analyzing everything you do and why you do it. Just STOP and start appreciating who you truly are!
3. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Accept that you are not good at everything, but acknowledge your strengths and use them to create your true purpose.
4. Rest more. The quality of your life could really improve just by giving your body and your mind the break they need. Every body is different so get to know your body clock and create a consistent healthy nigh sleep system.
5. Eat that damn cupcake. You are not going to get fat from one cupcake. If you are a disciplined person when it comes to your physical health involving both exercise and diet, remember you can also indulge sometimes. You are not a robot!
6. Don’t live by other people’s expectation. Stop wasting time on those who don't matter. People will always talk, especially when you are doing well. You know who you are and those who truly love you know exactly who you are. That's why they love you.
7. Making mistakes is all part of the plan. Don't be afraid to make them. Learn from your failures. Taking risks is what separates the average from the great!
8. Laugh more. Audrey Hepburn once said that the prettiest girls are the happy ones. Happy people laugh more, and everybody wants to be happy. It's ok to sometimes laugh at yourself and let your goofy side come out.
9. Find a job that ads purpose to your life. On average, we spend 13 years of our life at work. 13 years!!! Make those years count by doing something that gives you personal, professional, emotional, mental and physical satisfaction. No career is perfect but if you love it, you are on the right path.
10. Eat your greens. Vegetables play a very important role in our diet. They help with digestion, reduce illnesses and they add color to any dish. A healthy life leads to a happy, wealthy life.
11. Travel more. Learning about new cultures, tasting different foods, meeting new people, seeing new places all open your mind to a whole new exciting layer of life you never encountered before. It doesn't matter if you travel within the country you live in or doing a world tour. Just get in the car, plane, train whatever you need to get on and go.
12. Be open to love. You will meet people who will want to be part of your life, to share an intimate relationship with. Welcome them with open arms and share beautiful experiences together. Whether you are meant to be forever, or just soul mates for a temporary duration, accept their love and enjoy your time together. Fear will eventually lead you to regret so choose to take a chance on love.
13. Appreciate your family and friends. No matter how self-driven you are, life is more abundant when you share experiences with those who you love. To be wealthy it means to be healthy, give love and feel loved.
14. Kindness doesn't cost a thing. Understand how others behave around you is an internal projection of how they perceive the interaction based on their internal state and yours combined. When you are kind to yourself, you will be kind to others. How they see the situation is not your problem but what you can control is how you react to it.
15. Start each day by affirming one thing you appreciate about yourself and your life. Realize that many of the things you want are actually already part of your life and you fail to see them. Gratitude and passion always win.
And remember to enjoy every moment of it because today is the most important day of your life!
Once upon a time, in a crowded, trendy kingdom, there was a princess. She had the most amazing wardrobe and plenty of dreams. She was different from the rest and made her own rules. Everybody around her was waiting impatiently for her to find her prince and become a queen. Many came to visit her; they would court her with gifts, romantic extravagant dinners and many promises. The princess was certainly impressed by some, but her hopes and aspirations intrigued her more. She knew deep down that focusing on these will make her queen and in control of her life and destiny. So the princess focused on her goals and after years of hard work, she grew up to be a successful woman who achieved all her greatest desires just like she had always dreamt about.
Every woman should know that she is a born princess who will one day become a queen. Don’t confuse being a princess with being brought up from a privileged background; instead, think of it as one who receives a lot of attention (like a princess does) but for all the great things she does and the value she ads to the world with her purpose. You have all the right resources to be that. Use your mind, imagination and passion to create the life you’d love to live. Being single can actually have its benefits even though sometimes you fail to identify these. I’ve meet many successful women who have met their partners in the latter part of their life, after they achieved all they wanted to and worked towards building a future for themselves first. If you are still single and feeling the pressure, here are 6 reminders of why you should actually enjoy your single life.
DATE A LOT
Being single can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially if you are one of the last solo ladies standing within your circle of friends, but it really is what you make of it. Everything happens at the right time and yours will come also. There are many single women out in the world hoping everyday that the man of their dreams will come knocking on their door. Maybe this is influenced by others, and maybe sometimes it’s simply because that is what they truly want. Just so you know, that day will come. But until then, take this opportunity to get to know different men, and decide what kind of you really want to spend your life with. Dating has evolved immensely over the years. What once used to be a very personal approach, dating has now become more impersonal and easily accessible. With online dating flourishing in the last 10 years and apps like Tinder growing in popularity, meeting somebody has become much easier. Put yourself out there and start dating more. By meeting different men you are actually elevating by getting to know yourself more and understanding what you like in a man and what doesn’t suit your intimate relationship preferences. Life is full of surprises and you may learn that the men you wouldn’t consider dating, turn out to be much better suited for you than expected.
Being an independent woman means that you can spend your money whenever and on whatever you want; and this is brilliant. However it is important to learn how to manage your finances. Having a savings account will teach you to be disciplined with your money you work so hard for. You never know where life may take you, and it’s important that you are always prepared financially for it. Even if you are not in a position where you can save a lot, a small amount each month will make a difference. You will become more responsible with your money and begin to appreciate the fact that it is you who is working and creating your own future. Regardless if you want to travel the world or buy your dream home, saving will give you that freedom to do so. You won’t need to fall on anybody’s back because you are accountable for what you want to do with your life and have the resources to back it up.
DISCOVER THE REAL YOU
Spending time on your own could actually be a blessing. Just because you are alone doesn't mean you are lonely. To be able to love, you must first find that from within for yourself; only then you can identity what it feels like. Focus on developing yourself, expanding your skills and improving. Identify your strengths and find a way to use these in an effective, productive way that adds value to your life. Read the stories of those you admire and figure out your own by discovering the layers you have inside of you. You have the luxury of living exactly the way you want to so make it your priority to explore all your sides and strengthen the ones that will help you to shine brighter. Find hobbies and spend time doing what you love, because only then you will discover your true passion and what your purpose is on this planet.
This has been one of the most life changing experiences for me. Travelling brings so much value towards your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual development. Learning about new cultures and finding yourself in different environments will broaden your view on life and light that spark within you. Putting yourself out of your comfort zone will teach you just how strong and wonderful you really are and you will open your mind to see more opportunities coming your way. You will also realize that the world is not as scary as you once thought it would be. Travelling on your own teaches you that fear is simply part of life and choosing to push through it, will open up new horizons. Eliminating that fear of the unknown will help you realize how brave you really are. Some of my best memories are from travelling alone and meeting amazing people who will always be in my heart, thanks to the unique experiences we shared.
BODY LOVE AND EXERCISE
Don’t mistake this for doing it to be thin or attain any unrealistic image that society pressures you into. Exercising is a way to get to know yourself and to learn how to be comfortable in an uncomfortable situation (eg, sweating and panting whilst running). Pushing your mind and body through physical challenges such as fitness will make you realize how strong, powerful and brave you really are. One of the most important things in life is to be healthy. If you have good health, you are already successful. Working out and releasing those endorphins will relax your mind and strengthen your physical condition, stimulating both at the same time. By being a physically active person, you are not only doing something valuable with your free time, but you are also looking after yourself, and this shows that you love and respect yourself. Don’t ever stop doing that!
BUY YOURSELF FLOWERS
There is a silly myth that if you are single you rarely receive flowers. Who says you can’t spoil yourself? After all, you should be the most important person in YOUR life, so why not start embracing this? I am not ashamed to admit that every Sunday I go out to the local market and buy myself a bouquet of roses. They are my favorite flowers and I don’t need a man to buy them for me. There is nobody in the world who can make you feel more special than you can do for yourself. Seriously, if you want flowers, go get them. This way you can buy whatever bouquet you want.
Being socially active definitely has its place and choosing the right social circle for you can work wonders. We are part of a collective world, which means that we interact with others and much of our sense of identity and belongings comes from the experiences we share with others. We learn something new from every person we meet. Get out there and meet new people; make friends, who you can spend time with and share beautiful experiences together. You don’t have to feel awkward if you are the only single one in the group. Your friends love you regardless if you have your prince or not. Learn to make the most of your social gatherings and have a good time. You may be surprised how much fun life can be when you are busy having a good time.
I encourage you to wake up every morning and be grateful that you are who you are. Be patient with yourself and get to know yourself so you can find that self-love you know you have deep within. Only when you access this, you will truly be able to open your heart to somebody else.
I once read an article about the new female "ideal" body. I couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed over this. How is it that there is an ideal shape that as women we should strive towards? Isn’t it absurd that after decades of fighting for our rights, yet again there is something to differentiate ourselves from others. Body image is hardly a new topic and we’ve all fallen in the trap of failing to appreciate ourselves for who we really are because of the size tag on our jeans. Media has a big influence on how we think and feel about ourselves and this shouldn’t happen of course. But sometimes, when our vulnerability kicks in, we can’t help but accept the fact that we do get sucked into it. But ladies, you don’t have to accept it. Never compromise your looks for anybody, your body has been created beautiful the way it is. No doubt we can feel self-conscious, but that shouldn’t be based on comparison. Striving to be in a better physical shape should have more to do with aiming to live a healthier lifestyle and less to do with the number on those scales.
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
We are all constructed differently and that’s because our bodies are unique. Some women have bigger breasts than others; some have bigger bums, whilst others have longer legs. None of these are built wrong! Of course we can all reconstruct our figures to fit in with a certain look we want to have because it’s “trendy”, but why would we want to change everything about how we look to resemble somebody else? The reason we are all shaped so differently is because we are unique and that’s what makes each and every one of us beautiful. Learn to listen to your body and what it needs to stay healthy, sexy and strong. Don’t seek approval from others or allow media’s influence to overpower you.
Learn to look at your figure everyday in that mirror and begin to like what you see. Although some of you may feel uncomfortable at first, stay there and look at yourself until you see something that makes you smile. Believe me it’s there, you just have to look. Stop thinking about what your body should be like and start loving it because of what it is like.
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
I’m sure all of us have attempted at some point to fit into a smaller pair of skinny leg jeans but completely failed. What a horrible feeling that was! But why put yourself through this? If you know you are not that size, don’t try to be, because it will not fit. Learn to accept your own body the way it is and wear the right size for you. Nobody needs to know the number on that dress you are wearing; you are the only one who needs to accept it. Instead of trying so desperately to change the digits on that size tag, focus more on understanding what actually suits your body and wear that. Accept your body and flaunt what is unique about you.
HEALTHY IS BEAUTIFUL
We honestly don’t realize how precious life is. There is no doubt that we sometimes abuse our bodies with too little sleep, inconsiderate amounts of alcohol on the weekends, bad food choices, over exercising, sun tanning and the list goes on. Understand that being healthy is not an immediate thing, but a lifestyle choice. Choose to stay in that Saturday night if you had a long week and need your rest. Choose to wake up every morning and stretch because you know that your body was pretty much immovable for the last 6-8 hours while you were asleep and it needs to liven up. Learn to cook healthier meals, not because you need to lose weight, but because you love your body and want to give it good nutrients so that it can function properly. Exercising should never be a chore but part of your lifelong health goals because this will make you physically and mentally stronger.
MIND BODY AND SOUL
What we eat and how we think matters so much to our development as human beings. If our body doesn't function to its full potential, neither will our mind. When we do something that causes our body to be in pain, our cognitive abilities will also feel impaired. For example when we over exercise, our body hurts, in fact sometimes we can barely move and so we will feel mentally drained as well! This goes the same for stress, little sleep, eating too much fast food, not drinking enough water… you get the idea. Do things to improve your mind, body and soul flow. Understand that these are all connected and that everything you do will affect you’re whole functioning. Be kind to yourself.
MEET THE REAL YOU
We all face some sort of identity crisis at some point in our lives. This is usually around our teenage years, when we are so darn confused about everything in the world. But as we grow older (and apparently wiser), our most important aim should be to get to know the real us. Who are you? What is it that you are afraid to see? Taking time to self-reflect is very necessary. If you truly know who you are, then you will rarely face situations you will not be able to handle. We underestimate our own significance and more often than not see others as more worthy. One thing to always remember is that you are the most important person in YOUR life! Just as we give people the time of the day, we should do so for our own self. Learning things about yourself will not only make you feel happier, but it can also open new doors for you. See who you really are and get to know your strengths and weaknesses. Appreciate the good and attempt to change the things you could do better. Once you are fully comfortable with this, your life will feel so much more enjoyable because when you have love for yourself, you will have enough love to give to the world.
When will the ideal body promote a healthy approach instead of a reconstruction of what our mama gave us? Wanting to look like somebody else is simply mentally & emotionally detrimental and most definitely physically challenging. Learn to rely on yourself and be courageous and bold about your capabilities.
Step out of your comfort zone and be fierce.
We all want to be happy. It’s an emotion and a state of mind we simply cannot function without. It keeps us sane and continues to help develop our social, physical, spiritual and mental abilities. For something that is present at the core of our arrival into this world, it’s hard to understand how challenging it can be to maintain it. When we are born, simplicity is what attracts us. We are aware of our basic needs, and very rarely find interest in complicating life. We live on exactly what we need to be able to survive, and don’t let materialistic needs get in the way. And this makes us content, because we have everything we need to exist. But as we grow, we tend to forget that achieving happiness is a continuous process, which we must always practice from within.
Although many things can trigger this feeling of happiness, ultimately it will be consistent if and only when you are happy with your own self. Sure you can gain instant happiness, but the durable one, the most important kind comes from the self, from your inner source. To make this happen, you not only need to work at improving your state of mind, but to also appreciate who you are and what you stand for. From this, you will learn to respect your own self, which later on means that you will be completely content with who you are and this is something nobody can give to you, but yourself. Regardless of how many self-help books you read, or life coaches you pay, if you do not make the conscious decision to accept yourself, you will never be completely happy. Finding a balance between daily struggles and keeping a harmonious state can be difficult, and most of the time it requires patience and strength. But you can always give it a little push.
There have been and will continue to be times in your life when you will feel a little lost and begin to lose sight of the path you so clearly know and want to create. Even the strongest of people crumble at some point, because as we all know, life is not always a peaceful sea, but sometimes waves will come and shake us up. You can lose your balance and your way forward and this can be very scary. The adversities that you face are all part of the process so you can learn your lessons and reach beyond your greatest fears. So to get back up, you must try to shift your pattern of thought, explore different ways of living, make better lifestyle choices, join a gym, become part of new social groups, keeping a feelings diary and practice positive thinking. But of course these things will take time and often, all you need is an instant boost to give you that bit of hope that you can get out of the funk you are currently experiencing.
Keeping this mind, a few years back I thought of a new concept, that can be used by anybody. I have done this for a while and it truly is an eye opener.
THE WALL OF HAPPINESS
The wall of happiness is a concept where you add your happy moments, a place where you practice being grateful and allow yourself to become aware of all the great things that manifest in your life, whether they are small or big life changing moments. We function on such an automatic pattern of behavior, between our professional and personal life, that sometimes we simply forget to stop and actually see all the great things that comes to us. Creating your wall of happiness requires very little effort. Find an empty wall in your home, grab a set of post it notes and everyday, for the rest of the year add your post it note where you write about something that made you happy that day. It can be anything from receiving a compliment, all the traffic lights were green as you approached them, your partner served you breakfast in bed, you got a promotion at work, a stranger smiled at you etc. You can be as creative as you want because this is your own wall of happiness and you can add your spin to it. The only thing you must remember is that for the rest of the year, you must add a post it note everyday with something that brought a smile to your face.
Sometimes, when you are having a bit of a challenging day, you can fail to see when something good came to you. When you are stuck with a problem, all you see is just that and it can be hard to get out of your funk if that’s all you’re thinking about. The wall of happiness is there to reflect upon and to remind you that the universe is indeed created to have a balance and with everything negative there is a positive. You will learn to appreciate the small things that add value to your emotional state and to simply be in the moment. By documenting this, you will be able to gain insight into what brings you most happiness and it will also remind you that happiness is all around and that you still have it.
By having a wall of happiness, you will be reminded daily, that at some point during your day, every day, something brought joy to your life. Even if it was a silly joke your colleague told you, or that you got to sleep in an extra hour, bought yourself a new car or simply just had a bubble bath and relaxed; joy manifests itself differently for each and every one of us so whatever makes you happy, write it down, put the date on it and stick it on your new wall. One day, your wall will be full of happiness moments, and not just any happiness but your own. You will be able to look at it and see your life full of happiness.
" Never underestimate the power that you have within to change your life and make it a better one for you."