It’s a classic day for the lovers out there, and the least favorable day for all the single hopefuls. Valentine’s day is fast approaching and I couldn’t be happier. Yes a single girl in her late 20’s and I’m all about Valentine’s day. I used to dread the 14th of February back in the days, but with time, I understood that it’s not only about the lovers out there. The day is about love, and love, my friends has no limitations.
Isn’t it strange how whenever we talk about the big L word, we tend to instantly think of a romantic relationship, failing to realize that love is everywhere, everyday. When you start loving yourself, every day is Valentines day. Appreciating yourself and your own company is more valuable than anything else. Many people make the common mistake of being in a relationship because they feel lonely, so they think by having a companion that feeling will go away. On the contrary, without loving yourself first, regardless how many relationships you are in, that feeling will not go away. There is a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Not all people who are alone feel lonely, but plenty of people who are not alone, can feel as they are. You will never really get it right until you understand that the best relationship you will ever have in your life is the one you will have with yourself. When you are truly at peace and completely content with being on your own, you will no longer need to fill an emptiness, because it won’t exist. So if you truly want to find love, why not start with practicing it on yourself?
Here are 5 habits you can start implementing in your life to embark on a journey of true love. For this, I strongly suggest you get a notepad and keep that as your most treasured possession.
Start by acknowledging what appreciation truly is. You cannot expect somebody else to appreciate you if you don’t do it for yourself first. Everybody is unique and this means we all have different reason why we are amazing. Do you know yours? If not, then it’s time to do some soul searching. Ditch the materialistic characteristics such as good looks, great style, rich and pretty and start looking deeper. What is it that is truly amazing about you? Write down in your notepad 5 different characteristics you posses that you offer to the world. Some examples are loyal, caring, funny, exciting, adventurous, intelligent, creative. When you dig deep you’ll be truly amazed at what you can find. And once you do, start embracing them.
Spend a whole weekend on your own. Only those who can be truly at peace with themselves, can find the same equilibrium when surrounded by others. When you detach yourself from distractions, you’ll soon realize what it is you really are seeking. This doesn’t mean you need to isolate yourself. On the contrary, you should get out there but do it on your own. Time is precious and people don’t realize how important every second we live truly is. Take 2 days for yourself, where you get out on your own. Go to a café order whatever you like; take yourself out for a nice meal as you would like to happen when you go out for dinner with somebody. Go to the movies solo and watch whatever movie you want. Buy yourself some flowers. The benefits of this exercise will only begin to show if you really do what you want and are open to the idea of it. You see, when we are dating somebody, we often don’t even know what we want to do. So finding out what you truly enjoy will bring out your unique spark when dating somebody. You will also become more comfortable with yourself when in a relationship
Write yourself a love letter. I know you are probably laughing right now, but if you are single and reading this, you might as well do it. What have you got to lose? If you’ve never written a love letter before, this is great. Start the letter with everything about yourself that makes you really happy and brings out that excitement in you. Write about the things you want to do “together”, the hopes and dreams you have for yourself. Act as if you are writing this for somebody you else. It may sound funny, but trust me, once you start, you will soon forget you are doing this for yourself and your intuition will start kicking in. That’s when you know you are on the right track.
Find out what really motivates you. In NLP, there is a great theory that every characteristic you appreciate about others, lies within you, hence why you can notice it. For this exercise, think of 5 people you really look up to, or you really love and write down three individual characteristic about each one that make you feel that way about them. Once you have done this, look at the piece of paper. You should discover that they are all quite similar traits and when you have identified them, you’ll be able to realize you actually possess them too. And this will motivate you to bring them out to the surface.
Celebrate your singlehood. Trust me, there are so many reasons to do so. Being on your own means that you can do whatever you want, whenever you want it without having to consult anybody else. Celebrate the fact that you have a chance at discovering your own independence and making things happen by yourself. Being alone, doesn’t have to mean that you are lonely. Love is the strongest, most powerful emotion and you will only truly realize this when you feel it for you and then others. Without you loving yourself, you will never be able to fully 100% feel it for others. Yes you may think you are in love, but it will simply be an illusion. The best way to think about this is when couples spend time apart. They start feeling lonely, missing each other, not being able to function properly. Whilst it’s normal, life is as it is and we are all individuals on this planet. Take away the dependency of needing to be with somebody else, and give yourself that chance first. Once you do, I am sure love from others will make its way into your life.