In this day and age it’s almost impossible not to get caught up in an emotional state of desiring some form of romantic connection to somebody. From a very young age, many of us were taught that succeeding at life is defined by finding a partner, settling down and starting a family. Society continues to feed us with different outlets of advice on how to achieve this and how one can become close with another. Scrolling through my Facebook feed, I constantly see articles on how to keep a relationship, signs that he loves you, signs he is not the one, what you are doing wrong in love…you get the point. Everybody suddenly has a point for how you feel and who you should be with. Those of us who are focused on different goals can often find it demotivating focusing on these, when there is so much external influence of pushing us towards being in a relationship.
I am a strong believer in love, but I will never be prepared to settle for something that is just satisfying. Self-respect is something I feel very strongly about and compromising this is just not an option. Those women who know what they want and are not willing to take on anything less are often misinterpreted and even judged. There is absolutely nothing wrong with rejecting invaluable bonds just for the sakes of having one. Living in a social, collective world, everything comes down to connecting with individuals and learning from one another; therefore choosing the right people is key. I know of women who have been in long-term relationships who are not exactly happy with it, but they continue to stay in them. Perhaps the fear of being alone or the unknown takes over and so they choose to settle for something just for the sakes of it. “I am in a relationship meaning I am loved”. When we stop seeking validation from others, and we start to value our own validation that is when we awaken to new discoveries. Having a sense of self and understanding one’s own strengths as well as weaknesses opens a new world of exploration. Everyday we strive to develop further into the person we ultimately want to be and this can only be a victorious transition when we are truly at peace with our own opinion of ourselves.
As women, we should learn to develop our inner strength, to know that we can be good at many things in life besides offering a man our unconditional love. A relationship should be based on equal grounds, mutual respect and consistent encouragement from both individuals. There is absolutely no need to rush into something or even worse, giving yourself to somebody who is not willing and who is not ready to appreciate who you are. Understanding what you have to offer in a relationship will help you identify what you bring to the table. Furthermore it will release a sense of purpose and a deeper understanding of what you want in return from the other person. Saying you desire somebody who is tall dark and handsome, has a great career and is financially stable can only truly work if you yourself have qualities that can compliment these. How hypocritical of us it is when we keep asking, but have no idea what we have to give in return. It’s like saying I want this job, but I’m not sure if I have the right skills for it. And if we don’t, are we willing to work hard to attain these?
Everything always comes to those who believe are deserving of it. This is possible only when you have enough self-awareness of yourself to completely understand your values and worth, therefore believing in yourself. Instead of seeking to receive love and accord from others, first seek it from yourself. Magical things can happen when you find this.