Your 20's are supposed to be the most interesting years of your life. This is because they are for self-discovery and making mistakes both practices leading to your personal growth. The beginning of your 20's is like a walk through the park, with a fresh breeze and then suddenly BOOM, a storm hits. After this though, a beautiful rainbow pops out and the sun starts shining. This is the process that occurs throughout your 20’s and it’s one to teach you to take the opportunities and the challenges that come your way and start paving your life path.
In the beginning of your 20's, you can get away with a lot. You can be a free social butterfly, spending your time on social gatherings until the sunset whilst still being able to get away with a few hours of sleep and off to work or uni you go. Your energy levels are higher because your sense of responsibility has not yet fully developed itself. Because of this, you tend to have a more carefree approach and very rarely assess every decission you make and every action you choose to take. But then you approach 24/25 and something changes. In my case, at 25 years old my golden door opened. It was then that I learned that it was time to do the things in life I always wanted to do. Not because I was getting older but because I made the conscious decission to go beyond the average life I was living and started exploring my full potential.
Many people are still searching their purpose in life in their mid 20's, hell some still do it in their 40's which is completely fine. After doing some of my own research and speaking to people older than myself, I came to the conclusion that for most people, 25 was the time they chose to create change and start living with more purpose. That was the stage when they began to learn what they want out of life, the career they wanted to pursue, the relationships they seeked and the friendships they choose to keep. Slowly climbing the ladder to the BIG 3 0, we tend to make it all happen (or at least we attempt to do so). As I learn everyday, life doesn't always go according to plan, and that's actually the blessing of it all. Life is not meant to be a robotic system where you tick off check lists, but instead a wide ocean of opportunities you choose to surround yourself with. Contrary to Carrie Bradshaw's famous quote "Enjoy yourself, that's what your 20's are for, your 30's are to learn the lessons, your 40's are to pay for the drinks", I believe that our 20's are for learning the lessons and 30's are for making things happen. By the time most people reach 30, they have been through enough to know where they stand in life. I have no idea why a lot of women get so overwhelmed as they approach their 30. You can still have a baby later on and prince charming is certainly on his way to you. Lighten up, you create your own destiny, make your own rules! There should be no age limit to this; life is about discoveries and everyday treasure hunts, filled with surprises, excitement and of course roadblocks.
SO WHAT ARE THE LESSONS OF YOUR 20'S?
CHOOSE YOUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE
Everybody you choose to surround yourself with, you become in some way or another. Stop spending time with people who bring negativity in your life for those were the days of our teenage years. People around you influence you because they are the external influences that meet with your internal self-talk. These need to be on the same frequency or one of them in a higher positive state. Always ask yourself what value do you bring to a person’s life and what value do they bring to yours. When you begin to see what comes from each social relationship you choose to have, you will understand its significance. And if you are honest enough with yourself, you will soon start choosing only a select type of individuals to be around. The three types of people you should create stronger bonds with are those who inspire you, those who truly love you and people who challenge you. When you find them and create your circle of influence based on these three characteristics, your social encounters will become more valuable in your life and will create a positive flow.
FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT
When you learn from your mistakes and implement the lessons that come with these, you self-elevate. Your professional self is just another part you play in your movie called life. It is one that’s very important because it will help you find your practical purpose and what you have to give to the world. This is what your 20's are for, discovering your talents and developing your abilities. Take chances and say yes to different jobs. See what you enjoy and what you don’t, discover what you are good at and what you have to put more effort into. Through this, you will meet people who can become your mentors who in my opinion are some of the most impactful people you can have in your life. Push yourself to the max until you find what clicks for you. Don't just go to work and do it because you have to. Find something that you are good at or could potentially master and develop in it further. Be the best you can be at it, always perform well and never stop learning. People who stop learning because they think they know it all, become stagnant and fail to progress further. Choose something that brings out the true expression of your soul. Challenge yourself more and be brave enough to make the change.
In our early 20’s, we tend to follow trends regardless if they suit us or not. We care so much about the size tag, that sometimes we purchase that pair of skinny leg jeans we can barely move in but because they are a smaller size, we want them. Forget about the trends, who is wearing what, and what size is in. Face the fact that your body is the way it is and dress to accentuate your good areas. The moment you start caring less about the numbers and start to love what you see in the mirror is what will add more value to your self-worth. You are the only person who needs to know your size so deal with it; love your body and dress to impress yourself. Regardless of what other people think of you, know that the only validation you need is your own. It’s really empowering to have others support you and you need that in order to develop your sense of belonginess. But also know that without your own encouragement for yourself, the voices of others are simply a quick fix. If you want consistency, you must practice self-awareness and self-love.
TRAVEL AND ADVENTURE
I was never one for travel to be honest. When I woke up on my 25th birthday and told my friends I was moving to Europe they laughed at me, because they knew I enjoyed comfort and routine. I had nothing waiting for me there, apart from a vision I created for myself which I was willing to explore and make happen. Three years later after embarking on that adventure, I gained priceless experiences that have brought so much value and depth to my overal state of being. I found myself in complete discomfort, I saw places that opened up new vissions for me, I created bonds with people who became my mentors, friends and soul mates. The thing about traveling is that it teaches you to grow up. It almost moulds you into a braver version of yourself and opens new doors for you. When you step outside of your comfort zone you are telling the universe to “Bring it”. And if you are courageous enough to stay in that discomfort for long enough, you will self-elevate to heights you never even thought possible (metaphorically speaking of course). Travelling actually requires less money than your everyday unnecessary expenses like your morning cup of coffee from you local trendy café, or the Sunday brunch session with a friend. All you need is a plane ticket, self-belief and a whole lotta drive. It will change your life forever.
Your body is a complex mechanism that reacts to everything you choose to do. The greater impacts however start taking place in a delayed fashion, so when you are younger, the time between your actions and your body’s reactions may not be in tune. As you get older, your body begins to start reacting to everything you have put it through and continue to do so. For this reason, learn to love your body more than you love those party nights, those fast-food burgers and cheap make-up.
Start living in a more balanced state. Learn to get to know your body and give it the exercise and movement it needs. Be active and get out in the fresh air. Open your mind to stimulating conversations that will activate thought processes, learn about healthy eating habits and what works for your body. Take your make up off before you go to sleep (A MUST!) Devote enough time to your sleep and nurture your body.
Your 20’s can teach you more than you can imagine if you are willing to give this time of your life a proper go. As you’re moving towards a new stage of your life, make your 20’s so great that when you look back you can say:
"I made my mistakes and learnt my lessons, now I’m ready to put it all in practice and find my greatness”.
We all have moments when we feel like nothing is working for us. The universe has a funny way of shaking things up for you when you least expect it. Believe or not, this is most of the time to push you to something better or to shift your focus on something that you are not clearly seeing. When you feel like you’ve reached a bit of a funk, these three activities could help you push through and change your mentality so that you can start noticing things you have been ignorant towards.
Your body was created so you can move. When you’re feeling stressed out or having a bit of a challenging day, get your fitness gear out and start doing some exercise. Your mind and your body must always be congruent in order for you to stay in balance. Your body is a complex mechanism and so your body and mind need to work at the same frequency so that you can stay in tune and fully access your internal resources. Stretching your muscles and moving your body is the perfect way to get your cardiovascular system going and your heart pumping. When this happens, your nervous system is stimulated and you begin releasing endorphins. This will boost your energy and raise your levels of awareness. Once you finish your workout, you’ll have a clearer head and a healthier state of mind.
We are social beings by nature and vocal communication is the best way to connect with other people. Speak to somebody who is uplifting and positive. Having a stimulating conversation will take your mind of your problem and help you see things from a different perspective. When speaking to this person, don’t focus too much on your problem. Dissecting into this will only turn it into a bigger issue and before you know, you feel like everything in your life is not working out to your advantage. Focus your attention on connecting to this person, speak about something else and open your mind to new information. This way, you’ll unconsciously step away from the problem and focus on something new and more exciting.
CREATE A LIST
This is by far one of the most effective ways to turn any problem into an opportunity. Make a list in which you outline the things that would need to happen if the problem didn’t exist. For example, if you are not happy with your job, what things would need to happen in order for you to start enjoying your job? How would you want things to change in order to eliminate the existence of a complication? The universe was created in a way that there is always balance if one seeks it. This means that with every negative, there is a positive vibrating at the same frequency. When you’re stuck in a dilemma, you tend to only see that. So on your list, outline all the positives to the current issue you are dealing with. Be honest about it because the positives are there. Focus your attention on these, and before you know, you’ll soon realize that what you were dealing with wasn’t that much of a big deal.
You won’t always have things go your way because if you did, then you wouldn’t progress. Stagnation leads to procrastination, and complaining is the driver of both of these. Choose to become a solution driven person and realize that everything has an advantage to it. Start by taking control of your life and understanding that you have the power to turn things around just as you do to stay in our funk
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in life is to surround myself with the “right” people. The saying you are who you surround yourself with is very much a valid statement and it’s important to choose wisely. We are social beings by nature and we are part of a collective consciousness that is bigger than just ourselves. Through social interaction, we develop ourselves further emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. Communication is a vital part of our lives and our cognitive development and sense of belongingness very much fall into this. The quality of your relationships determine the quality of your life.
The people we choose to spend our time with can influence us greatly, sometimes without us actually recognizing this. Choosing the right circle of influence depends solely on who you are as a human being, what you are interested in and where you are going in life. There are two questions that you should always ask yourself in regards to anybody you choose to give your time to:
What are three types of people then you should be investing your time in?
PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE YOU
There is no greater way of growing as a person than having those who you admire in close contact to you. People who inspire you play a vital role in your development and being in direct contact with those you look up to can impact you greatly. Surrounding yourself with those who are doing better than you and have achieved greater things in whatever areas of their lives will open your eyes to endless opportunities. Our cognitive development very much depends on the social modeling concepts and learning valuable lessons from others is truly a blessing. These people could be anybody, your mentors, your parents, a teacher, even friends who are doing really doing very well in life. By interacting with these people, you learn how to see the bigger picture and how to discover your potential and then applying this to achieve your successes.
PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT YOU
You can become truly unstoppable when you give and receive love. There’s no doubt that love is the most powerful emotion and the ultimate drive behind everything we do. When you live with love for yourself and other, the world gives you love back. Our emotional state is influenced a great deal by the people we choose to open our hearts to. This puts us in a vulnerable state and showing vulnerability brings out the beauty and true essence of our souls. Happiness comes from many things, mostly from working on ourselves and discovering who we truly and having people around you who truly love you is very important. Being part of a social community where you receive love, support and encouragement further ads to your emotional state and reinstates your sense of belongingness.
PEOPLE WHO CHALLENGE YOU
These people are very rare but can impact your life greatly. They see your potential and abilities and want to help you achieve greater things. At times it can be exhausting and frustrating because being challenged means that you have to face your fears. Therefore people who challenge you will very often push you to recognise and overcome the obstacles that are stopping you from reaching even higher heights. They do so because they care about you and want to see you do even better because they know it’s in you. If you are a driven person yourself, you will find that you can push through anything to achieve your goals and live the life you want to live. But having an external influence that pushes you paired up with your internal drive is like gaining double the power. They challenge you from a place of love and their intention is pure, to simply help you see yourself the amazing person they see in you.
There are many ways you can create a great environment for yourself and not all relationships will be perfect. Always remember that the value you get from your social circle of influence and the one you give back is what ultimately makes the relationship a worthy or unworthy one. Time is precious so spend it with precious people.